I have the week four blues. For all you college union members who only believe in the need for organised fun in week five, I am proof of those early wilting students: cold-ridden, work-drowned and stress-eaten already.

Therefore, let’s all sit down this week to a cup of tea and take a break from all these career conundrums. Put away that big red and black Top 100 Graduate Employers tome and focus on the light blue Cambridge of the here and now. Let’s all realise that, instead of feeling weak in the bladder over our future collective state of affairs, we should also be doing the things at university that we will miss; the things we will look back on in nostalgia from the highly-paid job security of our early-thirties. Therefore, let’s write a bucket list.

First on the agenda: May Balls. We must accept that the term ‘finalist’ equally refers to the approach of our final May week. Use the time wisely. Therefore, at this key junction of inter-collegiate bargaining, make sure you snap up those tickets to the events and balls you want, and try not to feel too queasy at the costs. Remember, you only go to Cambridge once (#YOGTCO…?).

Next on the list come some of the more stereotypical Cambridge dares: do the Kings swing, ride the Jesus horse, infiltrate the Pitt Club, steal a piece of crockery from as many formals as possible or take a dip in the Cam. Please note: the small print states that I suggest, but take no liability for these stunts in case this all results in a hospital visit, or worse, expulsion. The thought of surviving the past three years but not even graduating gives me shivers.

On the safer side of things, indulge in those performances, talks and societies that you won’t find in such an accessible and cheap abundance when you make your post-graduation Cambridge exodus. Laugh at the Footlights; attend a poetry reading or a talk by a leading academic or make the effort to go and stare at famous people when they visit the Union. Listen to the countless choirs and orchestras, or watch the blues teams perform their many lycra-based sporting talents. The next time you find yourself in Cindies or Life – or any one of those prime establishments of the well-moulded youth – appreciate the short time you have left to use its resources on a weekly basis.

Woeful will be the day when we cease being students. Our prized discounts will no longer work. Mourn for the sudden need to pay that extra 10% in Rymans or Tatties! Or, in a more glass-is-half-full outlook on life, we still have a good couple of months to get slightly discounted breakfasts after heavy nights out. What a brimming bucket list we already have comrades!


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